Church Celebrates 2nd Amendment, Kids Make Pop-Tart Guns During Sunday School


This past Sunday, a Chicago area church sponsored a Second Amendment Sunday filled with “assault” pop-tarts, “combat” cupcakes and a sheet-cake that featured a chocolate semi-automatic Glock handgun with a quote from Jesus that read “Blessed are the peacemakers.”  John Kirkwood, Pastor of Grace-Gospel Fellowship in Bensenville Illinois said the idea came to him after reading a column by Doug Giles entitled “Christian Parents Should Have Their Kids Play With Toy Guns.”

“Giles has a way of exposing the absurdity of the left,” said Kirkwood, “his article was in response to some Pastor from St. Louis and his ‘toy gun’ buyback program.   That and the news about 7 year olds getting suspended for threatening pop-tarts and menacing cupcakes led me to stand up for true American values and the Biblical wisdom that underlies them.”  The Pastor, referring to two recent cases in which a pop-tart shaped like a handgun and cupcakes topped by plastic soldiers brought on what many felt was over-the-top school discipline, decided to respond in kind.

“We had an ‘assault’ pop-tart challenge in our Jr. Church where each child who wanted to participate chewed a pop-tart into the shape of a gun and the top four would win prizes; in this case a toy gun,” said Kirkwood, “the guns were named for celebrities.”

“Second runner up received a double barrel shot-gun that we nicknamed ‘The Biden,’ and when we presented it we made sure to say what ‘not’ to do with it in a real situation.  The prize for runner up was a Navy Seal sniper rifle that we named ‘The Chris Kyle’ in honor of the American Sniper.  We felt that it was appropriate,” added Kirkwood, “given the insulting way that this administration ignored the death of this American hero, yet had the crust to send a delegation to the memorial service for Hugo Chavez.”

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  • romadog

    The second amendment is what kept this country free so far.

    Look what the Israelis’ did to the Palestinians. They made them register their
    guns, Then they confiscated their guns. Then they killed them and drove them from their homes. They are still doing it. I think we should have gun education in school.

    • Dahlia Kensington

      Romadog, GET A LIFE! Most Shiite Muslims are radicals in the Gaza Strip are Hezbollah oppressed and mentally unfit, not to mention worship a False god with a corrupted text called the Qur’an so, NO! They shouldn’t own weapons because they pick fights with them!

      • His point is that if you want to control a population you take away their miens of self protection. It’s been done 1000 times before on this planet, in Castro’s cuba, Hitlers Germany, Mao’s China, czarist Russia, Kim’s Korea, and anywhere else a government wanted to control the people. None of them thought it could happen either…until it was too late.

  • I hope those pop tarts didn’t have more than 9 Cherries in it.

    • Dahlia Kensington

      LOL Joe!

  • Dahlia Kensington

    Proverbs 22:6
    King James Version (KJV)
    Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

    • Good and Godless

      Somehow youe followers of a deity that claims to have drowned 99.999% of all life on this planet and threatens all with eternal torture is going to be an example for peace.

      Talk about opposite day.

  • inspokane

    Yea…but you make it sound as if the Israilis are at fault. If someone is in my house…Id disarm them and chase them out. You must look at the facts….Palistine is trying to steel the land. judea…Jew…de a…Jew dea a , Jew is the key word here. Palastine does not belong…but the propaganda has said they do…water cooler knowledge reighns in this country and arounds the world. Facts not what everyone else tell you at the water cooler and says. I found it on wike pedea…checked it with snopes. are you kidding me….gasp…

  • inspokane

    Romdog.(two posts below) Palastine has no place in judea….Jew de a…Jew would be the part to hear. Isriel is being nice and considerate to there plight. But the propaganda calls it Golan heights. Not Judea….Palistines are trying to steel …like all Arab Muslims…all they do is take and steel. The first response to that is…they gave us Algerbra…They did not…they stole that to…it is just not listed in the history books that way. I forget who they conquered and stole it …al they do is take and steel…coming to steel you guns next…even the poptart guns…Obama the Mulum who is steeling the country right out from under you is in 2 phase Jehad. Three phases…if you dont know that then…stop listining to what you herer around the watercooler of the I phone. Facts don’t matter anymore…only what I heard from the medea and a friend.