Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, “Ready for Hillary,” is already starting up, and it is ugly. Really ugly. It’s vaguely similar to Obama’s campaign, but with some crucial differences. Well, one main difference: it sucks.
One of the first things I noticed is that they’re trying to get the American people and the presidential wanna-be on a first-name basis. Remember “Barack the Vote.” “Ready for Hillary” is like that, but it will probably be even more exclusive. Clinton knows she will have to leverage the recognizability of her husband’s name without being tarnished by its scandal or eclipsed by its cult of personality (she didn’t get much personality, after all). So she will probably use her last name sparingly. This campain will be all about Hillary. Which is curious. There are in fact other national leaders who go by their first names. They’re called monarchs. Queen Hillary I? Scary.
They’re also rolling out a line of endorsed merchandise. This is really the worst part of her campaign. Oh my. Obama had that red and blue posterized look that ellicited vintage patriotism—both progressively hip and safely traditional at the same time. Say what you will, Obama’s campaign was brilliant (it had to be). Clinton’s campaign design? Not so much.
It looks like they have chosen to over-expose and posterize a picture of her half smiling (in pitch black, of course); then they photoshopped her hair, neck, and the sides of her face out; then they put that disembodied smirk against a light grey background over the word “READY” in either blood red or blood pink. It’s actually creepy, as the closeness of black and grey make it seem like her face is pressing out from the background like a poltergeist bent on stealing the souls of your children. It’s Cheshire Cat (complete with actual madness) meets Stepford Wives meets awesomely incompetent graphic design. Whether intentionally or not, her “face” actually achieves maximum uncanniness in the uncanny valley between registering as a human and registering as a cyborg. It may actually be that the tin-foilers were right: After looking at this line of murky merc, it’s hard for me to deny that Hillary Clinton might be a Reptilian Shape-Shifter.
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