From Monologues to Questions

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One way to gauge the effectiveness of your parenting is by the questions your children ask you. You want to be asked good questions. This is an important goal of parenting that is often overlooked.

When you need help with a problem, do you look for answers from any random person? Someone next to you at the gas pump, perhaps? The answer is obvious. You ask the people whom you trust and respect.

Young children ask parents seemingly endless questions. They do this, in part, because parents are the center of their world. There is no one that means more to them than mom and dad. Asking questions is a sign of respect and appreciation. Be thankful. As a parent, you want to keep the questions coming. Often parents get exasperated with the questions of young children. This exasperation will eventually diminish the questions (bringing short-term relief), it will also result in a diminished relationship with older children and teenagers.

The active, aggressive listener of Proverbs 18:15 will recognize the types of questions that are asked—and the questions that are not asked. If your teenagers are primarily asking logistical questions, such as can I have the car, or when is dinner, this should alert you that the important questions are going to someone else. Your goal is to have your kids ask you about the hard things in life. But like you, your older children and teenagers will reserve those questions for the people whom they respect and trust.

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